Some memories are fantastic and spark joy, while others can be very difficult for a child to manage. Balancing the strong feelings of grief is also about balancing memories, so, while talking about a range of memories is often hard, a child’s memory muscle must be exercised and strengthened. This activity can help a child to understand that we can’t ignore the difficult stuff, nor can we let it dominate, and it will guide you in supporting a child as they think and talk about different types of memories.

The Little Box of BIG Thoughts is designed to help older children or adults have a conversation with someone close by who is important to them, or perhaps to process thoughts and feelings about someone who has died. It can be used to show a young person that just because someone is no longer with them, their connection to that person remains.

This tool will help by starting every sentence for them. It is simply a collection of sentence starters (in both Ukrainian and English), which a person can finish on paper or say out loud to you, helping them to voice their feelings and memories as well as processing complex, commonly bottled-up emotions, such as anger, shame, survivor guilt and regret.

You can purchase your very own Little Box of BIG thoughts through Priceless Treasures or alternatively download an online copy here. These are currently only available in English and Ukrainian.

Faced with so much change and loss, a child may feel overwhelmed and suffocated by their grief. This worksheet describes activities you can use to support a child to grow around their grief, not by ignoring it, but by looking at how they can begin rebuilding their lives. We also explore the importance of physical activities, movement and gardening in the management of stress.

Candles can inspire a sense of wonder and warmth for a child, and remind them of happy and peaceful times. This particular candle has a memorable fragrance of soothing essential oils. Whenever you use the candle, please be aware of where the child is at all times, and make sure they don’t touch or play with it. These boundaries are important, and you want them to feel safe. The inspirational phrase ‘There will be light, there will be hope’ was suggested by a young woman in a bunker, during an air raid in Kyiv.

The candles included in the Bear Us In Mind boxes are supplied by our partner Marmalade London.

This is all about helping the child to see their unique identity. This creative worksheet by Laura Hambleton allows children to shape a conversation about how they want to be seen.

Included in the toolkit is an activity that encourages children to choose their own favourite photos and turn them into a photo album. They’ll then be asked to write a sentence that describes each photo - one that can capture the moment and any emotions it brings to the fore. This is not just restricted to family either, as children might find their support circle extends to new friends, their host family or a supportive teacher. These albums will be a long-lasting reminder of lives old and new that they take into their future.

Looking through old photographs can be an emotional process, but it also helps strengthen our sense of identity and connection.

These activities represent the unity and strength of family (even when separated). You can use toys to encourage children to open up about how they are feeling as well as bringing them comfort and helping them to feel safe and secure. Soft toys can become trusted companions to children, helping them to manage fear and separation anxiety and to feel connected to people they care about.

Having one or two trusted friendships is a strong indicator for resilience in children. Children often love doing this simple yet impactful activity about friendship. Even a child who is less artistic can easily create a jar that they feel proud to retain. As they get lost in colouring the white salt you can talk about their friendships from home. A special bond will be established between you and the child as you understand more fully what friendship means to them.

This is a book written for children experiencing bereavement which adults may also find helpful to read. We strongly advise all supporters of the ‘Bear Us In Mind’ toolkit to read it as it may help you to process any bereavements from your own life. It will also help you to step into the shoes of a child, and guide you both as you explore their own particular grief experience. You will need to try to understand the meaning of their relationship with the person who died and the circumstances and timings that surrounded the death. You also need to establish the child’s relationships with those who remain alive.